Forgiveness is challenging but necessary

There are some words which can be difficult for us to say.  For example: I am sorry or please forgive me or I forgive you.  These words are difficult for us to say because we struggle asking for forgiveness or forgiving someone. Why is that?  Is it pride?  Is it stubbornness? In today’s divided world, it seems like our society is less forgiving than at any other time in recent history. We are reminded however in today’s scripture passages from both the Old and New Testament, that God demands we forgive others as he has forgiven us so many times. For example, we hear these words from the book of Sirach: “Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the Lord?”  In other words, how can we expect God to forgive us if we don’t forgive our fellow women and men?  It seems like we would be hypocrites, wouldn’t you agree? 

In the Gospel reading, Peter asks Christ, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?  Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times”.  And of course, by now you know that when Christ says 77 times, he says we should always forgive. That statement probably shocked Peter and for many today, it’s a tall order that is nearly impossible to fulfill.  
 
Forgiveness is one of the most challenging choices in our lives whether it is to forgive someone else or to ask someone for forgiveness or even to forgive ourselves. In our first reading from Sirach, we heard these words, “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” Hatred can be self-destructive. For example, my brother Brian was mad at our family for several years. He refused to talk to any of us and turned down invitations to meet to see if we could work things out. Brian had so much anger built up inside of him. After ten years of silence, Brian died without reconciling with us.  His passing left many of us feeling empty. 
 
How many times have you been angry at someone?  How does it make you feel?  I read once that “Unforgiveness is like a boomerang – you can throw it at the person who has hurt you, but it eventually comes back and hits you”[1] You become bitter, vengeful, angry, joyless. I could go on and on.  Life can become miserable.  I know because it’s happened to me.  I’ve worked for some people in my secular life who were not the most pleasant people to be around.  Long story short:  it took me a few years to forgive these former bosses, but when I did, it was life changing.  Did my forgiveness mean that I forgot?  No, but I was able to move on with my life relieved of the anger and bitterness.   Pope Benedict the 16^th was right on the mark when he once said, “Forgiveness first sets free the person, who had the courage to grant it[2]” 
 
Christ is our role model when it comes to forgiveness.  Throughout his ministry, he either taught about forgiveness, or he offered forgiveness to someone.  Remember Zacchaeus the tax collector? The woman at the well?  Peter?  When his disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, he tells them in the Lord’s prayer to ask for forgiveness and for the strength to forgive others. And who can forget the words of the dying Christ from the cross when he uttered these words, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” Rather than cursing his murderers, the Son of God “unlocks the door of forgiveness right there in front of everyone. Could you or I have forgiven his murderers?[3]” Forgiveness is very important to our God, and it should be just as important to each of us. 
Today’s responsorial psalm says, “The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.”  This upcoming week let’s pray this verse from Psalm 103 but make a slight change to the verse saying, “I am kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion” asking God for the grace to forgive others who have sinned against you.


[1] https://www.thehopeline.com/when-you-dont-forgive/
[3] Allen R. Hunt, Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody