Relationship, Recognition and Reconciliation.

There are times in our life that require us to reflect on our relationships. Mostly, those times do not always require deep thought. I have a relationship with my family and friends, my co-workers, fellow students or just simple acquaintances. Day-to day activities require us to relate with one another in some form or another.  We connect, we relate, we take care of the task at hand and then we move on.

In our most intimate relationships with those we love; whether they be our spouse, our children, our siblings or our best friends, we have more invested in our interactions and lives together. It is in these relationships that we can find the deepest joys, but also the most difficult trials and pain. This is why forgiveness and selfless love are so instrumental in navigating these relationships with a harmony of hearts in our daily lives.

Discovering and recognizing the harms that have been done to us and the harm that we may have done to others require reflection, prayer and humility. Our Gospel passage today helps us to achieve this by doing that which is necessary to find resolution in our disputes. The first is to talk about it with the one who has hurt you, sinned against you. And to do this with a forgiving heart. Yet, not all conflicts can be resolved in a simple discussion so it is important to involve others who may have a broader perspective, whether it be others that know you or a dis-interested third party, being mindful that love and humility should be the context of any discussion. However, if this is not possible, come to the Church.

Why the Church? The Church IS the Body of Christ in Her members and it is another relationship in our lives. Being a member of the Church through our Baptism is a membership in the family of God, established by Christ and with His authority. This authority brings us the teaching and governance of Christ Himself and will bring us wisdom of resolution. The Church has a vested interest in us in the very fact that she is in relationship with us. The first mission of the Church is the salvation of souls! In reading from the Prophet Ezekial, we understand also that out of love of our neighbor, we have a responsibility to instruct the ignorant and admonish the sinner; two of the spiritual works of Mercy. 

Yet, self-reflection must come first, especially in our relationship with God. It is sometimes difficult to have an honest view of ourselves. When I look at the reflection of myself in the mirror, I will see some of the imperfections of my physical being, there are many, but I may need a CT scan to see the interior ones. When I want to see my eye, I have to look very closely at the mirror to find the stray lash, but I can’t see all the rods and cones. 

True self-reflection, recognition of my true self in the depths of my soul requires me to look at Christ Crucified. To gaze on the corpus of Jesus, to contemplate what He has done for me and to how much I have fallen short in my own humanity, how I have hurt Him and caused the whipping of Jesus at the scourging post, the nails in his hands and feet and piercing of His side. If I have hurt Him in my love of Him, how much more have I hurt others in who I have been called to love? How many times have I fallen short of proclaiming the Gospel, especially to the ones I love? How many times have I been the one who needs to be pulled aside and corrected because of my sin? Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner!

This is why the Sacrament of Reconciliation is so important for us! In the realization of my own failures and shortcomings, my sin, I become aware that others will hurt me, knowingly or not, because we are all sinners. In calling attention to that reality, I must first do so with a forgiven and forgiving heart and mind. In that spirit of Christ, we are reconciled with God and man! “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” 

Go to Confession, you’ll be glad you did.